Chores by Choice

If there's one thing I've learned as a mom, it's this...

Getting children to consistently do their chores can be exhausting.

They get bored with the routine.

They complain.

They forget.

Or sometimes they simply decide they aren't going to do them.

Sound familiar?

After one too many frustrating days, I decided I needed a different approach.

I wanted to spend less time nagging and more time noticing the good things my children were doing.

So, after a little brainstorming (and a trip to Staples), I created a chore system that completely changed the atmosphere in our home.

Instead of assigning chores each day, I made helping around the house a choice.

Here's how it works.

Every child has a laminated Personal Responsibility Card listing the things they're expected to do every day: make their bed, brush their teeth, keep their room picked up, complete their reading, and other age-appropriate responsibilities.

These aren't considered chores.

They're simply part of being a responsible member of our family.

If they complete everything on their own without reminders, they earn one colored circle for that day.

Seven circles in a week is a perfect score.

The child with the most circles at the end of the week earns a $5 bonus.

Interestingly, it's very rare for anyone to earn all seven circles.

No one's perfect.

And that's okay.

The fun begins with the chores.

Around our house, every chore that needs to be done is written on a large smiley-face circle and displayed where everyone can see it.

Vacuuming.

Taking out the trash.

Cleaning bathrooms.

Organizing drawers.

Vacuuming the car.

Baseboards.

Dishes.

Whatever needs to be done.

If one of the kids chooses to do a chore, they simply take that smiley-face circle and place it into their personal bin.

At the end of the week, they cash in each completed chore for 50 cents.

It becomes their spending money for movies, birthday gifts, outings with friends, or whatever they're saving for.

They earned it.

I also keep a few blue squares nearby.

Those are our "uh-oh" tokens.

If someone repeatedly leaves toys everywhere, throws clothes on the floor, or neglects their personal responsibilities, they earn a blue square, which deducts $1 from their chore money at the end of the week.

Thankfully, those don't show up very often.

One of my favorite parts of the system has nothing to do with money.

I added bright yellow circles labeled Kind Act.

Whenever someone notices a brother or sister doing something thoughtful or kind, they can secretly place a Kind Act circle into that person's bin.

At the end of the week, whoever has the most Kind Act circles gets to choose a special treat from the candy jar.

It's a simple way to encourage the kids to notice kindness in one another instead of focusing on mistakes.

Has the system been perfect?

Of course not.

But it has changed something far more important than whether the bathrooms get cleaned.

It changed me.

Instead of constantly noticing what my children didn't do, I started noticing what they did do.

I found myself thanking them more.

Praising them more.

Appreciating them more.

And something interesting happened...

They wanted to help even more.

I've often been asked,

"How do you keep your house so clean?"

Well...

Now you know the secret.

And if you happen to stop by when the house is a little messy...

There's a pretty good chance you'll find a few children with empty pockets and disappointed faces.

Either way, I win.

If they choose to help, my load gets lighter.

If they choose not to help...

I just saved myself fifty cents.

I'll leave you with a quote that beautifully sums up why this system has meant so much to our family:

"The value of communicating with people in a praising way is huge... It helps you focus on the actions and qualities you admire, thereby raising your sense of gratitude about who you live and work with... And the praise helps the other person, too. It gives the other person a sense of worthiness." — Steve Chandler

That has become the real reward.

Not the cleaner house...

But the happier home.