Loving you, today!

You won’t get much frill with this post. No pictures or creative titles. In fact, I’m not even authorized to be posting here. For some of you who really know Lorri, you have already figured out who this is. For the rest of you, well, you’re smart enough-just hang in there and read on. It wasn’t too long along ago I pirated the password and snuck in a post from me, her secret admirer. She figured it out quickly and to my surprise left the post up for a little while. Maybe she thought there was someone out there that had a question about whether she was truly loved or not. I doubt it. One thing that has always bugged me is this: When someone dies, it is as if they were perfect to their friends and family. You know what I mean? People always say things like “He was such a good dad” or “He was always so pleasant” or “He treated me so good”. Think about this. And no disrespect intended for any reader out there who may have a recent loss. But of everyone who reads this, it would be you who could really relate. “She cared so much about people” and “I will never have a friend like him” and so on. I certainly admit that in most cases, once someone is gone, we somehow only remember the good. Not only that, we all of the sudden have the courage and strength to communicate this with our voice. Why do we do that? Why can’t we talk about the reality of our feelings authentically both when someone is living and when they are gone? So today, I want to share some of my feeling that I would share as if Lorri was no longer with us. Don’t worry, she hasn’t gone anywhere. But you see, most, if not all of you don’t really know her like I do. Oh’ she is not perfect at everything, but hear me, she is perfectly imperfect in those cases. You see, I have never met a better mother. She mothers like a professional. If you could be a professional mother, she would be the one to beat. Second to none. When I watch her do it, I am constantly in awe of her dedication and true commitment to it. She has practiced since she was a little girl. One might ask, “How come she is so good at it?” I can answer that with the very next thing about her. It’s her commitment to her God. Each day, she finds, in a special way, a quiet little opportunity to grow herself spiritually. I love how I can swing by the house midday and find her curled up with her little blanket and her scriptures. She has taught me to think with a spiritual mind and see with spiritual eyes. When it comes to wives, I have only had one. I do have some experience talking with other couples and listening to how their relationship works, so I feel pretty comfortable in this area. Lorri is a special wife. She is committed to me (well, I just gave it away for those of you that are a little slow). When I say she is committed to me, I really mean committed. Not just because she doesn’t flirt or look at other men, but she understands what fidelity means at a level most people will never understand. There aren’t many words for this subject, but I will do my best. It is a true faithfulness that comes from a person that will really stick by your side even when you do stupid things. She accepts the person I was and the person I am, even as much as the person I will someday be. We have a special “relatedness” that allows me to just melt in her arms and have talks that creep into early morning hours of the next day. It is like time doesn’t exist. I can just be next to her, and say nothing, and its wonderful. I could go on about Lorri in so many ways and in so many of life’s places. But here is the bottom line: It is just her. She cares so much for people and looks for ways to serve them. In most cases, it occurs anonymously. She prays for her friends by name. She prays for me. She’s patient. She knows what to say to get me back in line. Lorri is a BEAUTIFUL girl. She takes such good care of herself in so many ways. I love that I will be with her forever. Yes, that means eternally. I love that she picked me, even knowing that I’m not that good. I love that she and I have children together. I love to see her in each of them. I love how her influence has shaped each of them. Lorri, thank you for your specialness, beauty, the way you love, how you let me love, your relationship, your example, your mothering, the friend you are, the quiet little ways you serve so many, the lover you are, and all that makes you up that only you and I know about. I love you. For the rest of you that chose to read this all the way to this point: Create your relationships with trueness. Be authentic even when it hurts. Go and share your real feelings with those you love. Don’t be one those people who, once it is too late, pretend like it was all great and there is nothing but good to say. Because chances are, you never said the good to start with, so why start then.